The stupidity is killing me!

I had enough of this kinda emotions shit.

I tried fucking hard to hide it but yet I always make people feel that I an emo freak!

Emo freak?? Excuse me! 

If I am really an emo freak, I would have posted every fucking shit on my facabook,

I would have tweeted it every minute to show that how freaking emo I can be, seriously!

What's the point for keeping it to myself? !

This is not me!!

 If express all my feelings out only shows that I'm seeking for attention, or trying to be emotional in front of everyone or to you may be...  I'M SORRY! I'M NOT!!!!

To you, this is me, I will never change!! Because you think that all of these were small acts and dramas....

It hurts man, it really hurts when you said all these to me...

If all of these were dramas and emo shit, why are you posting your thoughts on twitter or path?

But when it happens to me, you assumed that I'm just seeking for attentions!

Assumptions kill!!!

I've tried very hard to be the person that everyone wants me to be.

And yeah, everyone has emotions, but it doesn't mean that we have to act on it....

TRUE!!! But don't you think that you're complicating your life?

You have to hide it when you're upset, you have to smile/ laugh out loud when you feel like crying, 

you have to keep it to yourself when you really feel like telling others about your feelings? 

OMG, that sucks, man!!! 

I know we have different ways to handle our emotions or whatsoever shit that happens on us,

but it doesn't mean that we have to follow everyone's ways, right??! 

It's kinda upset when I SIMPLY thought that I'm just sharing my stories with others,

or someone I trust, and it turns out to be:

" Yeah, you feel better when you say it out because you're selfish!! And you just think of yourself instead of other's feelings!!" 

OUCH!!!!! 

Ever since that incident, I told myself that I AM NOT ALLOWED TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL.

Is it the way you want me to be??

Seriously,

Isn't it how we have been? 

We tell each other about our feelings, our point of views...

We shared our stories, we trust each other while we doing our things....

We used to talk like best friends, argue like husband and wife, love like a couple, fight like sister and brother, gossip like colleagues, share like family.... 

WHAT HAPPENED??? 

I know I worth something, I know where my value is.

I know where I should stand and of cause I know the best of me!

Do you ever think that when someone is willing to do all these for you,

just because they love you? 

It's not like I don't love myself, it's just that I love you more than I love myself!!! 

You had fought a long time by yourself, but now you refused to let me fight for you 'cause you feel tired to keep fighting for this relationship. 

You've given me chances, but you said that I kept repeating the same mistakes which you don't even wanna tell me what's that? 

And to you, it's the worst part that I don't know what did I do....

*pulls hair*

You know I would change no matter what it takes, you know I'm fighting for us now.

But..... 

You just don't care anymore whenever you see I'm in pain or upset...........

you just passed by and don't give a shit anymore.....

you don't even wanna look at me.

I hate it when you did this to me, I really hate it!!!!!!!!!

I wonder why I still can stick around you and tried to make you happy even though I know you won't look back,

I just fucking don't know why??????! 

It makes me feel like shit, but still..... I just can't leave!!!

If the tiredness could cause people to stop trying again and again, please.... Give the me tiredness, NOW!!

I've told myself a billion times that I'm fucking sick of it, I wish I could stop!!

But I just don't know how??!! Stupid right? Yeah~ 

I feel like I'm hurting you whenever I wanna shower you with my love...

It hurts me too. Really. 

I'm sorry that my love couldn't make you feel like home now, but I don't regret 'cause you made me felt once before. Thanks babygirl.

I love you more than words can say. Period.